Private Function’s ¯\(ツ)/¯ isn’t just a record—it’s a chaotic dare. A loud, absurd, genre-obliterating punk onslaught that grabs you by the collar from the opening seconds and doesn’t let go until you’ve crash-landed somewhere between total disbelief and full-blown fandom.
From the opening blast of “Animal”, it’s clear the Aussie six-piece isn’t interested in easing you in. The track punches like a back-alley bar fight between Motörhead and C.O.F.F.I.N, all blown-out guitars and unhinged vocals. And that energy doesn’t dip—it mutates. The band tears through hardcore, pub rock, glam, and punk like a wrecking crew with zero interest in labels.
True to form, the band’s chaos spills into the packaging. The vinyl features what they claim is the first microscopic album cover ever made—2,590 miniature record covers crammed into one sleeve. Each copy includes a magnifying glass so fans can squint their way through the madness. Past editions of their albums have included piss-filled vinyl and baggies cemented into sleeves, so yeah—this tracks.
Musically, ¯\(ツ)/¯ is all spit and sneer. One moment you’re laughing at a 3-second song with a title like “Bum Cigs, Cum Big”, the next you’re knee-deep in a surprisingly ripping ABBA cover of “S.O.S.” shouted through an “oi oi oi” chant and soaked in distorted solos. The album is ridiculous, but never lazy—it’s crafted chaos, punk with teeth and a middle finger.
Tracks like “Safety Last” and “Dumpster Driving” are anthems for self-destruction, delivered with such commitment it’s hard not to grin. And that’s the point—Private Function doesn’t want you to sit still. They want you shouting, sweating, maybe even bleeding a little.
It’s ugly. It’s brilliant. It’s punk as hell.
¯\(ツ)/¯ isn’t an album you analyze. It’s an album you survive.
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